


An Autumn Sky Too Soon Gone By

by RonnieWriting



Category: Frozen - Fandom, Frozen 2 - Fandom, kirstanna
Genre: Angst, F/M, Kristanna, if anna fell, it's sad ik, this was going to be a one-shot but I was quickly convinced otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 8,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22253302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonnieWriting/pseuds/RonnieWriting
Summary: I wrote this on a whim from an angst suggestion on discord so here it is.Anna died while breaking the dam and Kristoff and Elsa are left to deal with heartbreak.-This doesn't turn into Kristoff x Elsa, their friendship is the only thing that grows x-
Comments: 60
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

_ “Kristoff!” Anna screamed as she fell with the stones of the dam into the raging water below. Her hands grasped desperately for his... But he was too late. She fell and fell and fell. His heart fell with her. He went to dive in after her but he was frozen in place. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. She had sacrificed her life for everyone else’s, his Anna. He could hardly breathe.  _

_ “ANNA!” He called helplessly to her as the river collected her. _

**_I’ve seen dark befo-_ **

Kristoff shot up in bed. He was covered in sweat. “Anna.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t remember the last time he showered. Or shaved. Or got out of bed. 

Kristoff forced himself over to the window to look out at the water on the fjord. Calm, still,  _ harmless _ . He could feel the tears begin to sting in his eyes. The small ring that hung around his neck rocked against him as he sobbed. 

The room got colder as he collapsed back on the bed, he grabbed her pillow and held it tight against his chest. His heart broke all over again as he found that her perfume still clung to the fibers. “Anna.” Kristoff choked on his tears.

“Kristoff?” the door opened.

He looked up, hopeful, desperate.   
Elsa looked just as broken as he was. Her hair a mess, eyes red, and snowflakes were forming across her skin. She was clutching the small Olaf doll Anna had made for her all those years ago. Elsa sniffled and stepped over to him, her hand outstretched.    
The room all but froze in her presence.

**_I’m holding on tight to you_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_Can you really wake up if you haven’t slept?_ **

Kristoff turned over at the sound of the light rapping on the door. He looked next to him where Elsa lay above the covers, tucked into a little ball around Anna’s pillow. Kristoff sighed and pulled himself up, muttering a barely audible “come in.” 

The door opened and Kai looked sympathetically at Kristoff. “My lord, we must prepare for the…” He winced “... service.”

Kristoff nodded feebly and padded over to the basin to wash his face. He hoped in vain it would make him seem a little more awake. 

Gerda moved in past Kai to wake the Queen. 

Kristoff didn’t even think about the implications that came with the fact that he had been sharing his bed with the Queen ever since Anna had gone. Of course he knew the staff knew that it was the furthest thing from an affair for the sake of common grief. But if word spread, he knew that people would most certainly get the wrong impression.

Elsa was soon up and moving just as sluggishly as he was. She passed him without a word, only offering an empty touch to his shoulder. He knew that she found comfort in his company and yet she was as cold as ever. Kristoff- everyone always knew Elsa to dress in outfits unbefitting of the cold, and now he watched as she covered herself in furs before dragging herself out of the room, Gerda trailing her. It bothered her, he could tell. 

Even with Elsa and her frigid temperatures out of the room, Kristoff still felt bleak.

Kristoff let Kai help him get dressed, it broke his heart to think of the days when Anna would help him with his stiff clothing. She’d tease him and fuss just to annoy him. 

He’d kill to hear her jesting jabs again.

**_The day was only starting but his sun had long since set_ **


	3. Chapter 3

The reflection that looked back at him couldn’t have been him. He looked dreadful. Nothing could remove the bags under his eyes, the tear stains pitting his skin, the shadow of his beard. He tucked Anna’s would-be engagement ring under his shirt and fussed with his hair again. No one knew he was going to propose to Anna, other than Sven. He couldn’t help but think what could’ve happened if he had proposed to Anna before she was taken from him. It might’ve all happened differently, maybe she’d be here, maybe they’d be married already. 

He had no doubt that  _ if _ she were there he wouldn’t waste time, he’d love her to the extent of his ability.

Sven met him at the door, speechless and solemn. He was done up in black ribbon and dried wheat. He offered kristoff a pink rose and matching dried wheat boutonnière. His heart took another sting as he realised it’s what he would’ve worn to their wedding. Kristoff mustered the effort to force a half-smile for the sake of his best friend. Sven could only understand so much of what he was feeling. 

After affixing the boutonnière to his lapel and a brief moment of crying into the fur of his reindeer, Kristoff set off down the long corridors of the castle. And although Sven was tailing Kristoff, he had never felt less in control.

**_Hope dies and I follow you around_ **

He met up with Elsa in the main hall, Anna’s service was being held in the courtyard while her “burial” was going to be next to her parents. Elsa was draped in black, a very strange colour to see on her… She looked like Anna. Her hair adorned in traditional ribbon, the cape around her shoulders thick and heavy. She wore no ice. 

They stood beside each other in mutual understanding, in shared pain. No words needed to be exchanged between them, 100 words were said in just one look and a deep breath. 

The doors opened and light flooded in. It couldn’t banish all the shadows.    
Sven and Olaf waited for the two to cross the threshold but they were frozen in place; as if they both thought that by not descending the steps none of this was real. A dream. A nightmare.


	4. Chapter 4

The service was a blur, a string of unconsciousness. It was as if Kristoff’s brain switched off, he took on autopilot and his emotions retreated inside of him. Elsa seemed to be in the same state, outwardly she was pleasant, accepting of sympathetic words and gestures but he could see that her eyes were empty and dull; like she was asleep.    
  


There were flowers everywhere, pink, purple, orange, it was beautiful. Anna would’ve loved it. Everyone was milling about in black.    
One question loomed over all of Arendelle like a heavy fog:  _ what happens next? _

After Elsa had found Ahtohallan, she had intended to live among the forest spirits and further seek out the secrets in her past. But now, as the next heir had gone, Elsa was all that was left for Arendelle. Kristoff noticed this fact pulling on Elsa’s fortitude. She was cut out for so much more than a Queen’s life and yet she was chained to her position. He wished there was something he could do other than stand idly by. 

The mountain peak was something that Kristoff had seen a few times, Anna took him there to show him the stone markers for her parents. For Elsa, they stood as reminders to how she had shut her dear sister out when she needed her the most. In between the two inscribed stones was a smaller one. It started to thunder and rain but with a wave of Elsa’s hand it turned into a mere sprinkling of snowflakes.

The people of Arendelle took turns laying out flower wreaths, dolls, ornaments and other sweet offerings. When it came to Kristoff’s turn he was shaking. He approached the rock on unsteady legs, tears already making their way down his rosy cheeks. He spent a good while resting his body against the marker, a silent prayer on his lips, asking for an answer. When Kristoff stood back up, he was clutching her engagement ring. He stepped back and Elsa made her way forwards to pay her respects to her late sister. 

While she was doing so, Kristoff slid behind the large stone, out of sight of the attendees. He fell back against her stone, his head in his hands and his heart in his throat. After Elsa’s words of tribute, she joined him, the people were singing a traditional hymn. She looked at him.  _ Through him _ . He could feel her thoughts in his own mind. “Don’t do it,” they said “the water will never answer.” 

Kristoff stood up with a harsh breath and moved to stand on the edge of the mountain peak. The cool air rushed in his lungs with every breath he took. He looked down at the golden ring in his hand, the thin string tied to it danced in the wind. Kristoff looked over his shoulder at Elsa. She knew what it was.

He took one last breath and with all his might, threw the ring into the fjord below.

**_Og dei spora eg trår er kalde så kalde_ **

**And this track I tread is cold, so cold, so cold.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that I referenced at the end and the "hymn" that the people are singing is Helvegen by Wardruna, I think it sets the mood for this chapter well.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

The image of the ring floating down to the fjord kept replaying in his mind. The string trailed behind it; a shooting star. The snowflakes danced in the air, the people’s singing reverberated off the cliff edge and echoed across the landscape. It was truly a moment where it felt like she was with them. The cutting winds stole his breath like she did. If only the water could bring the ring to Anna.

**_The water_ **

Kristoff sat up, his heart pounding against his chest. He leapt out of bed, the movement disturbing Elsa’s ever present figure beside him. “Kristoff, what is it?” She asked.

He threw on his robe in one swift motion and grabbed Elsa’s coat. “We need to try something,  _ now. _ ”

The urgency in his voice was all Elsa needed to hear for her to don her coat and rush out the room behind him. 

He lead her down and out the castle, by the fjords edge. The same place Elsa had fled Arendelle, the same place she heard her mother’s voice. The morning air was fresh and promising, the sun was only beginning to peek over the mountains’ tips.

Kristoff turned to Elsa, desperation and  _ hope _ written across his features. “The Nokk.”

Elsa caught on to what he was thinking. Maybe, just maybe. She sang out to the Nokk and sure enough, it came bounding out of the water to meet Elsa. She rested her head against the Nokk’s to connect their thoughts and to turn the water spirit to ghostly ice. In another moment the Nokk was leaping back into the water. 

Kristoff reached for Elsa’s hand, seeking comfort. She gave it to him gladly. For once, for the first time in a long time, Elsa’s skin felt like it was burning, but not of coldness. It was as if the faith that had filled Kristoff’s body was now surging through Elsa’s. 

It was said that death rode a pale horse. 

And evidently it did; the Nokk returned with a body. 


	6. Chapter 6

Kristoff and Elsa rushed to meet the Nokk in the water as soon as they saw who was draped over it’s back. Kristoff pulled her off and carried her as delicately as he could back to the shore. She was soaked to the bone, cold and completely unresponsive. 

The Nokk lingered in the shallow water. Elsa stepped close and noticed what it held in its mouth.

“Anna,” Kristoff whispered, he held her in a way too familiar to bare, “my Anna.”

Elsa took the ring from her companion’s mouth. It felt heavier than a ring should and yet it looked as if the water had no effect on it. She pocketed it for now. The Nokk bowed and washed away with the tide. 

Kristoff’s fingers brushed over her neck again and again, searching for a pulse, a beat of life. He couldn’t find anything. Kristoff took a moment to gaze over her face, he hadn’t seen it in so long but he was sure it never looked like this. Her lips were purple, her skin was shrivelled and her body had started to take on this waxy substance. He choked on his breath as he looked at her. Once frozen and now drowned. It was all too much to stand at once that he almost dropped her.

Luckily, Elsa’s hand on his arm pulled him out of these painful thoughts. “I have an idea.”

Her hands were up and already starting to produce little specks of glittering snow.


	7. Chapter 7

Elsa formed a platform out of ice by the steps to the castle. Kristoff lay Anna down carefully. As he stepped away from her body, his hand lingered on her wrist.

“How do you know this will work?” Kristoff asked as he forced himself to fully move away from her. His eyes never left Anna’s face.   
Elsa took off her coat and handed it to Kristoff “If I can create life, maybe I can bring one back”. She rolled up the sleeves on her nightgown.

What happened next was a part of Elsa that Kristoff had never seen before. He hands were outstretched over the length of Anna’s body and what spilled out of them was a flurry of light and icy powder. A ring of snow started encircling the sisters, Elsa’s dress and hair whipped around her as she closed her eyes in desperate concentration. Kristoff could hardly see what was happening beside the strobing image of Elsa and Anna’s body. Elsa’s magic entered her body and she glowed from the inside out with an eerie blue-white light. He could’ve sworn he actually saw Anna start to float above the platform.

There was the echo of a song, it didn’t sound like Elsa’s voice but it came from her. A call, a plea, a promise. It sounded like hope.

And suddenly it stopped.

The swirling ice fell, sparkling against the rising sun. Elsa stood static with only the breeze through her hair and dress. Slowly, she lowered her hands and stepped closer to Anna. Kristoff made the distance in two strides. He instantly took her hand. It felt cold, but his heart was beating so hard that he couldn’t focus on finding her pulse.

“Anna?” Elsa whispered. She was slightly shaking from the force of her powers. Elsa stroked the hair away from her face and leaned over her little sister.

  
  


_ Anna’s eyes opened.  _


	8. Chapter 8

Kristoff and Elsa jumped back as Anna’s eyes opened. They glowed with the surge of Elsa’s magic before fading back to the blue that they were used to. She sat up. Anna’s body lurched with the aftershock of what she must’ve felt as she hit the water. Kristoff and Elsa were back at her side in a second.

“Anna!” they both cried and wrapped their arms around her. She was shaking, her clothes were stiff and she was still in shock. She tried to grasp at both of them while trying to catch her breath. Kristoff fell to his knees and cried tears of relief into her hip. Elsa took her sister’s face in her hands.

Anna coughed “W-What’s going on?” 

Elsa smiled. “I brought you back. You drowned when the dam fell.” 

Anna looked at her hands, a familiar pattern of snowflakes covered them, Elsa’s magic seeping into her skin. “But I-” She started shaking fiercely, panic taking over from the shock of being  _ alive _ . 

Elsa and Kristoff hugged Anna again. “Anna, listen to me,” Kristoff said calmly “you need to breathe, ok? slowly and deeply.” 

Anna nodded and tried to take it all in.

They sat like that for a while. Calm and breathing in unison. The sun beamed down on the three, ice shining brilliantly in the light. 

Kristoff helped Anna off the platform and wrapped her in Elsa’s coat. She was shivering.  _ But alive _ . They took her inside to the waking warmth of the castle.

The flag rose from its place at half-mast that day.

**Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably going to be the only 'happy' chapter so... don't start trusting this fic.  
> The song I referenced in this chapter (and the song I've sort of attached to kristoff in this whole fic) is 'Shattered' by Trading Yesterday, would recommend :)


	9. Chapter 9

“The water is so cold” Anna said swishing the bubbles around absentmindedly.

Elsa looked around at the steam that filled the room. She wrung out a washcloth and started wiping the muck off of Anna’s back. “You’ll get better, that’s just the effect of my magic I guess. Since you’re not made of snow or ice, you’re not used to the cold.”

Anna sniffed and layed back in the footed bathtub “so what happened after I fell?”

Elsa sighed and moved on to lathering up Anna’s hair with shampoo, “Well after I stopped the water from flooding Arendelle, Kristoff told me how he couldn’t catch you in time... Rinse.”

Anna nodded and carefully dipped her head back into the soapy water. She met eyes with Elsa. It was almost if she could hear Elsa talking to her from above, but her lips weren’t moving. The sound was distorted, mingling with the sounds of water rushing by her ears as Elsa washed her hair. Anna resurfaced and ran her hands over her face. She ignored the voice and let Elsa continue.

“We came back here after everything had settled and, well… I stayed in my room for a few days.” Elsa admitted.

Anna sat up a bit more and turned to face Elsa “What about Kristoff?”

Elsa smiled slightly, “I didn’t see too much of him at first, I can imagine he was doing the same thing. We leaned on each other quite a bit.” Elsa stood and opened up a towel for her sister. 

Anna carefully stepped out of the bath and let Elsa wrap her in the soft towel. “We had a service for you a few days ago,” Elsa remembered the ring that was still in her pocket but decided against mentioning it “ he was destroyed, Anna, we all were.” Elsa held Anna’s shoulders, “but now you’re back. And everything can be ok again.” She hugged her tightly. 

On Anna’s way back to her room, she couldn’t help but ponder on the fact that she had had a funeral. It was surreal to say the least. A lot had happened in one day. To Anna she had died and come back to life with no time in between. Elsa explained to the people what had happened briefly, how she bought her dead sister back. Calls of witch and demon were nowhere to be found; they were just happy that she was alive again. Anna sighed heavily as she turned the doorknob to her room. She planned to cry herself to the point of exhaustion and then sleep. Maybe Elsa or Kristoff would join her after a while and she’d wake up feeling a bit more like herself;  _ a bit warmer _ . 

But when she opened the door, someone was already waiting for her on the end of her bed.


	10. Chapter 10

“Kristoff?”

He stood up from his spot on her bed and smiled wide and genuine. It broke her heart how he looked at her. “Anna! Sorry, I know that after all that happened today, you probably wanted to be al-” He couldn’t finish his sentence as Anna had crossed the distance between them and thrown herself into his arms.    
Her little form shook against him, tears spilling out as she choked “I don’t want to be alone, not tonight, not ever.” 

Instantly, his arms came around her in a tight embrace. She latched onto his shoulder and let out a string of ugly sobs into his neck. He didn’t shush her, she needed this, needed relief. He was more than willing to hold her through it.

**I fall into your sunlight**

moments passed and the two had moved to lean against the bed. Kristoff still held her, gently but with a secure firmness, one hand spread along the dip of her back, the other in her hair. Anna’s cries had quietened and she only sniffled now and then. She clung tight to him like he was going to slip out from under her.

Kristoff broke the silence hesitantly “You know I’d never let something like that happen to you again, right?” Anna pulled back to look at him. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t save you the first time.” His eyes were filled with a myriad of emotions. Regret, worry, love. The regret bubbled to the surface with a few tears emerging from his eyes and tricking along the just-there tear stains. 

“It wasn’t your fault, Kristoff.” She wiped his few tears away and lay a tender kiss to the tip of his nose.

A laugh erupted from him as he realised that that gesture was something he had been longing for for so very long. He was about to pull her close for a much needed kiss when the door opened.

They turned to see a flushed Elsa in the doorway. “I-I didn’t mean to intrude! I only wanted to check on Anna.” 

Anna smiled and bounded over to hug her sister. Kristoff stood up. While Anna was happily embracing her, Elsa swiftly picked out the ring from her pocket and held it out for Kristoff. As she dropped it into his hand she mouthed something along the lines of “ _ take care of her _ .” Whatever she really said didn’t matter, he knew what she meant. 

That night Anna had found her place in between a sleeping Elsa and a snoring Kristoff. Her heart felt full. And yet she couldn’t shake the chill from her bones. She shifted so that she could look out the window at the brilliant colours streaking across the sky, the water of the fjord just visible. Her stirring prompted Elsa to move closer to her and Kristoff’s hand to barely tighten its grasp on her hip. She could hear something. Nothing like the voice she heard in the bathtub, this was coming from outside. It was still too early in the winter season for ice but she could hear the familiar sound of the fjord freezing. The sounds of the frozen water splitting under the pressure like the song of whales. Reminded of all the times she’d spend hours watching and listening to the sounds of the water freeze and sing as a child, Anna slipped out of her cosy little space and crept over to the window. 

The water was fluid, moving, free. It wasn’t frozen. There was no snow in the air, no tickling of frost at the edges of the window. Anna turned back to the figures on her bed, the song of the ice echoing in her ears. They didn’t move. 

She looked back out at the world around her, searching for a source to the sounds. Then she saw it. The Nokk staring up at her from the water’s edge.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, lyrics from Trading Yesterday's 'Shattered'
> 
> If you want to hear what sound Anna is hearing (similar to what she heard in the bathtub) watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd-CwJa1SHE


	11. Chapter 11

_ Her body stiffened on impact with the icy water. Limbs went numb but she was compelled forwards, downwards. The Nokk called her father, deeper, she could do nothing but follow. The eerie songs of the ice grew louder, thoughts escaping her. Suddenly air rushed into her lungs. “I will drown,” she thought “this is death coming to take me back”. But death never came, she kept breathing. Water entered her body, saturated her skin but its weight was lost on her. Now she was the pulling force, the Nokk came to her. The Nokk froze to ice, its new state floating it to the surface of the water, and on the way up, she could see her reflection. Blue, transparent, she was part of the water. _

**_The fjord was filled with tears._ **

Anna woke in a cold sweat. She was alone in bed, the morning sun beamed through the window, casting across the room. Anna had never had a dream so vivid, so  _ real _ . She was sure that she did not fall into the fjord again… but the sight of the Nokk. It was all too real, it must’ve been. 

Slowly, she got up, trudging across the rugged floor. Without the energy to get dressed, she settled for throwing on the nearest robe. It swallowed her but she did not notice. Anything, she found, did little to keep the cold out.

Knowing that her sister would most likely be in her study, she ignored the thoughts of breakfast. The visions of the Nokk, her dream was still fresh on her mind and if anyone could help her understand them, it would be Elsa.

Passing by the hall windows, she could see Kristoff in the courtyard with Sven and Olaf. They were helping to set up decorations for Anna’s “awakening” festival. Bright flowers were perched on every column and beam and coloured like her hair. There were tables set out for guests and unlit candles and flowers clustered in the centre of evey one. Anna stopped walking as she watched Kristoff bound around from task to task. He was full of life and his expression was comparable to the sun’s. Every step he took was brisk and confident. It almost looked like he was dancing. There was a weight back in her shoulders but she did her best to carry it further down the hallway to where she knew her sister would be.


	12. Chapter 12

Before Anna could knock even twice the door opened. Inside the room, Elsa sat at her intricate ice desk, papers all around her. Upon seeing her alive-again sister, she smiled. “Morning there, bedhead.”

Anna moved a hand up to her head to tiredly pull at a lock of hair. She yawned “morning.” It hadn’t occurred to her that she was as tired as she must’ve sounded. Anna shifted in place. Was this the best time to bring up dreams and horses made of water? The world was busy, it should not have to stop for her. Not again.

Elsa’s smile softened at her little sister’s tired mannerisms. She stood up, gliding over to her, and placed her hands on Anna’s shoulders. 

They should’ve felt cold, Anna remembered always being able to recognise her sisters presence, her touch, just by the frosty aura she always had. It seemed to dissipate since yesterday. Anna wondered if Elsa could feel the shift in tolerance that she had for her too. Whether she did or didn’t was unreadable to Anna.  _ “Just like Elsa”  _ she thought.

“You’ll get better, Anna.” Elsa started. “I can’t imagine what it is that you are feeling right now but I’m certain that by this time next week you’ll be warming up against the rules of the season.” She smiled and pulled Anna in for a hug. A single tear escaped Anna’s eye, but before she could mask it or wipe it away, it was gone. Turned to fleck of snow and danced down to Elsa’s skin, joining a number of others. Was this what happened when Elsa cried?    
Anna was so caught up in these thoughts that she hadn’t processed that Elsa was now happily pulling her down the hallway back to Anna’s room. “No time for lamenting, we’ve got to get you in your dress for the day!” Elsa’s eyes met hers and she smiled, Anna smiled back. She felt as though it was the hardest thing she had done that day.

It dawned on her that there was much worse to come. 

**_But there’s a trapdoor in the sun_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this time song lyrics are from Pearl Jam's song Immortality which is actually quite fitting for Anna's situation rn ;)
> 
> More things are going to start happening in the next few chapters but no promises as to how positive they'll be x
> 
> thanks to everyone who has been reading so far and for all the lovely comments!


	13. Chapter 13

Anna stared at her reflection. She was covered in her sister’s magic. Hair twisted up, and adorned with ribbon. Anna twirled around, watching the bright coloured and icy dress billow around her. It felt right, she didn’t know why, the ice against her skin, her breath turning to a light frost.    
“It’s too much, I knew it.” Elsa raised her hands to remove some of the decorative ice on Anna’s dress. Anna stopped her with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

“No, it’s perfect,” she ran a hand over her sleeve “I like how it feels. It makes me feel close to you.”

Elsa smiled, wide and genuine. She lowered her hands. “It suits you.” 

  
  


The two sisters dressed in ice made their way down the hall. Elsa cleared her throat. She had something on her mind. Maybe she had for a while now.

“Anna, I wanted to ask you something,” they both stopped walking. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while and well…” Elsa trailed off.

Anna frowned. “Hey, it’s me, you can ask me anything.” Anna didn’t know if she could handle what Elsa was about to ask her, if it has hard to get out, it was probably harder to take in.

“Well it's about the crown,” She met Anna’s eyes. “And what happened in Ahtohallen.” Elsa sighed and went on. “I found out more about myself, about my powers and-. I’m a spirit.”

“You’re  _ what _ ?” Anna said. 

“The fifth spirit, a bridge between human and element.” Elsa elaborated. 

Anna nodded, understanding where Elsa may be going in thought. 

“You’re old enough, you have Kristoff, a family in your future,  _ heirs _ .” Elsa continued. She smiled at her sister. “You’ll make a great queen, Anna.”

**_I wish they’d all still think I’m just a spare._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one took a while to get up, but I've been working on a much more fluffy fic which I'm planning to get the first chapter up soon.   
> thanks to everyone whose been reading so far! :)


	14. Chapter 14

Anna navigated through the party in a daze. Receiving one person's love and then the next, accepting words of relief, faith, loyalty and then the next. Elsa’s words, no longer a song, rang in her head. No beat, no melody.

**_You’re old enough…_ **

**_Kristoff…_ **

**_Future…_ **

**_Heirs..._ **

**_Queen_ **

With each ring, the weight of the words deepened. 

Anna managed to get away from the swell of the party as it continued into the night. The tables in the courtyard had been moved aside to make room for dancing. The fact that  _ she’d _ be dancing didn’t register with Anna until Kristoff had taken her small hand and started leading her into the centre of the space. His hold on her was gentle, as it always was, but she was in the same moment pulled out of the stifling confides of her own thoughts and into the cooling air of the night.    
Kristoff turned to her, placed his hand on her hip and led her in a dance. She supposed that she should’ve been thinking about how he learned to dance. When? And with who? But as soon as her hand came up against his broad shoulder, thought was a distant concept. All that consumed her was  _ sense _ . Anna felt the rushing under his skin, the heat that was ever-present in him. She felt the gaze of everyone around her.

Kristoff spun her once and twirled her around the clearing. Her shimmering dress billowed around her, emphasizing the crescendo of the music.    
Anna’s eyes rested on Kristoff’s face but her focus was elsewhere. Under the sounds of music and the swooning of their audience - even past the dainty sounds of her heels clicking against the cobblestone - she could hear  _ it _ . The sound that had grown more recognisable to her since she first heard it in the bathtub.    
Kristoff took her other hand in his and crossed them so that her back was snug against his chest. Her eyes fell on the figure in front of her who stepped closer. 

The whispering sounds started to get clearer as her sister approached, Kristoff’s hold on her loosening, his hands moved up to her shoulders. The whispering turned into hushed words. But she could only make out one thing before Elsa’s hand grasped her’s and the sounds stopped.

**_Ahtohallan knows..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops Ik it's been a while since I've updated this one but I've been writing lots of fluff and lighter stuff so it's been weird coming back to a full swing of angst.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a cw for mentions of eating disorders/ weight loss x

Time passing had no pull on Anna. She was coronated, she was queen,  _ she was engaged _ . But yet nothing weighed on her soul like Elsa’s leaving.

Initially it felt like a shock- Elsa’s new dress, the Nokk behind her, the prospect alone of there no longer being two ruling sisters in Arendelle. But Anna knew that her sister belonged in a place where she could truly step into her full potential. 

The warmth of Kristoff’s hand on her shoulder grounded her some but she couldn’t deny the piece of her that left along with her older sister. 

“She’s not gone, Anna” the hand on her shoulder moved to rub her chilled skin. “You’ll always have her.”

Anna smiled- she had known Kristoff to always be a stumbler as far as verbal sentiment went, but this came closer than he could guess. He knew her sister’s ice magic ran deep within her now, maybe he was starting to see it like she did- like blood.

**They say still waters run deep**

The first night without Elsa in the castle was rough to say the least. Anna had found herself in the bathtub again. She relaxed into the feeling of the steaming water, how, though icy and hollow, she still weighed enough to not be floating. Anna ran her hands over her stomach and along her ribs. Where there was once the modest cushion of flesh that formed her figure, there was now barely more than skin against her bones. She sighed at the feeling and pulled her legs closer to her chest.    
She wasn’t a skeleton by any means but she thought back to how little she had been eating over the past few days, few weeks. If her handmaids protested to her dwindling figure they didn’t make it known, but each morning she felt their concern grow as her corset fit tighter.    
They probably only thought it to be the effect of her preoccupation, Anna wondered if Elsa went though something like that during her first reigning week.

A soft knock at the door pulled Anna from her thoughts. “Anna?”    
Her grip on her knees relaxed at the familiar tone of voice. “Yeah, come in.”

The door opened and Kristoff’s flushed face peeked into the room. “Hey, baby. Sorry to interrupt your bath but I wanted to-”

Anna stopped him with a wave of her hand and he ventured closer to her spot in the room. Kristoff knelt down beside the tub and regarded her with a small smile. “-wanted to see how you were doing after all that’s been going on with Elsa and,” he gestured to where her crown had been sitting all day “with Queen stuff.” 

Anna’s face dropped only slightly but it didn’t go unnoticed by her fiance; he let her speak but his face folded into a worried expression. “It’s been heavy,” she willed herself to try and sound less small “and I’ve been feeling, well,” she let out a breath “alone and-” he opened his mouth to interject but she finished. “ _ Cold _ .” 


	16. Chapter 16

“Anna, is that you?” 

She heard his voice behind her. It was a whisper, his voice heavy with sleep and waking concern. She half turned to him. Her Kristoff was sat up in bed, hair still moulded to how it was pressed against the pillow, and rubbing his eyes slightly. “Is everything - what’s wrong?”

Anna crossed the room to his side and perched herself on the edge of the bed. His eyes widened, trying to get a clearer look at her; tears or a frown- anything that would justify his worry. She sighed and pushed her fingers through his hair and he leaned into her touch. “Nothing’s the matter, go back to sleep.” 

His brows furrowed further, he was battling sleep and yet she knew he would be willing to battle her troubles -if only she told him about them. “But you- the window…”

She indulged him in a pearly white lie “I couldn’t sleep so I was watching the ships on the fjord, the water’s been so calm lately.” If he was a little more awake he’d have met the flaws in her words with a frown for the water was not only chopping against the cliff but the moor was mostly barren of ships.

But in his state he only nodded against her palm before pressing a soft kiss against the skin there. “Okay, but please come back to bed soon.” Anna went to open her mouth but he stopped her with another kiss, this one to the corner of her mouth and lazier than the first. “ I love you- and I know you’ll be hard on yourself if you fall asleep in that meeting tomorrow.”

The words on her tongue faded into a sigh as his arms snaked around her despite their difference in temperature, his hands found gentle purchase in her gown and nudged her close to him.

“I love you too.” Anna murmured quietly. Kristoff’s head shifted down against her shoulder and what was perhaps the first true smile in _weeks_ pulled at her features as she looped her arms over his shoulders. It was enough to pull a string of tears from her eyes.

After a soft moment between them spent with Anna running her hands up and down the expanse of his back and Kristoff muttering half-thought sentiments to her, he had dozed off against her; arms falling limply around her. Upon noticing his steadied breath against her neck she threaded her fingers into his locks and pressed his forehead closer so it connected with the column of her throat.

Anna found herself willing the heat of him to find it’s way into her. Surely he was able to feel the lack of warmth in her- that when he looked into her eyes he searched for the warmth that had once matched her body’s- but if he did, he had never spoken of it. Anna’s mind wandered back to mere hours ago when she had told him how cold she felt in the bathtub. _In a room heated by smouldering coals, in a bathtub filled with steaming water- her, a girl with fiery red hair, with stories told of the fire in her heart that had once been enough to bring her back to life, a girl who was so surrounded with the heat of love- and yet found herself in a shudder that knew no bound of days…_

 **_“... alone and cold.”_ ** she had told him. And truth be, she wouldn’t have been shocked at his confusion as, well, she was equally disturbed by these feelings.

But he wasn’t. Kristoff’s expression was devoid of anything that looked like uncertainty or misunderstanding. Instead, he had looked so deep into her eyes that she felt as though he had cut right through her soul as easily as he would split a block of ice. He wasn’t searching either, not for hidden meaning or misplaced warmth- his eyes easily found the part of her he wanted. Kristoff had covered her hand with his own. _“You’ll never be alone, Anna. I know it can be hard not to think that when you’re locked up in your thoughts but it’s true. I know that with Elsa gone it must feel like there are fewer people that care for you but nothing could be farther from the truth. She’ll always be there for you,”_ his hand had tightened then , _“As will I. And as for the cold, well, only Ahtohallen knows..”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for everyone who's stuck around for this story despite my inconsistent updating but I'm getting back into my angst writing groove so hopefully I can keep this up!


	17. Chapter 17

_ Anna’s eyes opened. _

_ She was surrounded by the now familiar weight of water. Anna looked around her, the depths of the suffocating abyss no longer ominous; she couldn’t see the Nokk anywhere. Water rushed by her ears as she clawed at her surroundings, the sunlight that warped down to her grew closer and closer until she- _

She woke up. __

The morning sun was glinting through the large window in the room, it danced across every surface, creating this beautiful, warm scene. Anna looked beside her as she pulled herself up in the bed. Kristoff was still curled up, body moulded to where Anna had found comfort against him in the night. She found herself smiling again before the memories of her dream came back to her in an ugly flood. Suddenly the warmth of the sunlight across his features did nothing but remind her of the contrast of her coldness. With every soft breath he took, her’s felt heavier, and shorter and  _ harder _ . Anna was almost sure she could  _ see _ her breath coming out in cold puffs. 

But Kristoff shifted and Anna snapped out of it.

…

Once the meeting was over, Anna wasted no time in retreating to Arendelle’s docks. The air was fresh if only a little cool, the smell of salt water refreshing and familiar all at once. A few people -  _ her people _ \- greeted her in her passing and she returned their words and gestures in a sort of casual-formality that she had found herself using for a while now. Anna never had been so  _ royally  _ inclined like her older sister- it was so easy to just pretend that she was Princess again, a spare, just her. Somethings never change but so many other things always do.

Anna watched the way the gentle waves lapped against the stone of the pier, the dream still replaying in her mind. 

Gale breezed by her cheerily, carrying a little, folded paper bird. She forgot the pull of the water for a moment as the paper fell into her hands easily “thankyou, Gale.” 

Anna opened the paper and found her sister’s handwriting inside; it read:

_ Dear sister, _

_ I’m going to be visiting Arendelle tomorrow, I miss you and I can’t wait to see you again. _

_ My love always, _

_ Elsa _

Though the words were certainly stiff, she smiled at them and pressed the letter over her heart. 

Anna’s eyes fell back down to the water. She had the sudden urge to jump in- like everyone did, in the back of their mind- but a voice in her only told her louder and louder, tempting her,  _ urging her _ . She appeased the voice by sitting on the edge of the docks, swinging her legs over the side.    
Anna peered down deeper into the clear water from her spot and not a second later the Nokk’s head had emerged and was staring back at her.

**_Only the reflection of your lie is what keeps you waiting…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skdddddd ok I know this chapter was a bit choppy but we're getting to some real real really real conflict (ish) angst soon and I can't wait to see what you guys think what's going to happen when Elsa comes back to Arendelle and for the rest of this storyy!  
> more soon, thanks for sticking around thus far! :)


	18. Chapter 18

Anna noticed the dwindle of light in her sister’s eyes and knew exactly how she was feeling. It wasn’t a wonder as to why Elsa wanted to visit Arendelle again.

As Anna ran to her sisters open arms she was greeted with that lingering, hushed voice again. It wasn’t speaking to her but rather crying- a deep sobbing that bubbled and lingered like ocean tide. 

Elsa pulled away from her, a bittersweet smile breaking her usual stoic expression, and curtsied. “Your majesty.”

Anna laughed then, looped her arm through Elsa’s, and tugged her inside the looming door of the castle.

**_The illusion of your sunlight in a world so hollow_ **

“So Elsa,” Kristoff grinned from next to her, “is it true- does Ahtohallen really know everything?”

Anna tensed in her place. She had been trying all day with no avail to edge her older sister into this topic of conversation- but of course, whether he knew it or not, Kristoff had done the work for her.

Elsa smiled “Ahtohallen knows everything about the past. It's like standing in a collection of memories- your past in a mirror just-” she almost trailed off into a signature silence. But something changed in her eyes and she finished. “... like you’re staring back at your whole life.”

Kristoff hummed, a vulnerable thought hiding just beneath the surface of his eyes. It pained Anna to think of how much she needed to see Ahtohallen without even considering Kristoff’s wishes.  _ She felt nothing short of guilty _ .

“Do you think that maybe-” he started hopeful but suddenly seemed to dial back his expectations “you could find my past? M-my parents?” His otherwise steady voice faltered for a moment and Anna found herself pressing a small hand against his shoulder, rubbing half circles there. 

“All our paths are connected so I’m sure I could.” Kristoff perked up slightly at Elsa’s promising tone. Elsa stood up from her spot across from them and almost fell into pacing. “I’ve been thinking- hoping actually,” she met Anna’s eyes and her words we echoed “ that maybe you’d both like to visit Ahtohallen with me?”


	19. Chapter 19

Anna checked her reflection on last time before leaving the room, her eyes wandering over her newest outfit. It resembled her last travel outfit in shape but the material was thicker and her signature green. Gold embellishments and contrasted short cape solidifying her new appearance as queen. Anna wondered if she should wear her crown- she’d been taking it on and off for the last hour- but she ultimately decided on leaving it on her dressing table.  _ Today was not going to be about royalty- it was going to be about- _

“Anna?” a familiar voice called from her doorway, she didn’t bother with her hair. “Are you ready?”

She nodded, turned, and walked out the door. Anna did all she could to pull her shoulders back and keep her chin high, like she was treading water- trying desperately to resist the pull of the water and drown-  _ an all too familiar feeling. _

**_Like I dream I can’t hold_ **

… 

“What you see in Ahtohallen is personal,” Elsa explained. The three of them drifting on one of Elsa’s ice vessels towards the white shape on the horizon. “It's all memories, so what I’ve seen won’t be the same as what you see.”

“How do you know that?” Kristoff chimed in. As always, he had insisted on dressing in his usual kofte. “Aren’t you the only person who's been there?”

“Ahtohallen showed me what I needed to see…” Anna tuned out of the conversation then, only recognising her sister’s expression fold in the way it used to when she entered ‘ _ Queen mode’ _ . 

_Had she taken anyone else there? Or was Ahtohallen… a person? It's its own entity?_ Anna had considered this with the fact that each of the spirits were sentient- independent and very, _very_ different. _Or maybe it was just a glorified place of introspection._   
At that thought, Anna almost completely dismissed the weight she had been putting on this event- but the just-there nudging of a single wave against their boat kept her anxious thoughts in place.

**_I can hear you… and I’m coming_ **

… 

Though two people had been in the room before her, the lack of footprints unnerved Anna. The sound of her shoes clicking against the icy floor, her chilled breath coming in puffs, the slight tremble in her every step only did to make her feel more alone. 

_ “I’m no longer trembling!” _

Anna whipped around at the echo. Both Elsa and Kristoff were far away from her now but her sister sounded closer than ever. She pressed on hesitantly and stepped into what was easily the largest room Ahtohallen had. 

Once she was far enough into the space, Anna noticed the way in which it looked like the frosted walls were  _ moving _ . She couldn’t bring herself to stand in the centre of the room.

“ _...You’ll be drowned _ .” 

Anna looked around for a source of the voice that sounded so much like her-“Mother?” but she found nothing.

Venturing to the edge of the room, Anna raised her hand to the ice. She tried to wipe the fog off the surface, thinking it would make the moving images clearer, like condensation on a window. But nothing happened. Only a voice called back to her from inside the ice.

“ _ What do you seek? _ ” it asked.

Anna stepped back but plucked up the will to speak. “I want to know what happened. Why-  _ how _ I am alive…” Her voice only came out as a little more than a whisper but this voice seemed to hear. 

The walls flashed with images, moments in time that she hadn’t seen- Kristoff throwing the ring that now sat on her finger, Elsa standing over Anna’s body, people crying, desperation... _ Anna falling… The Water Nokk. _

“ _ You have been given another life, Anna. But it won’t last,” _ The voice interrupted the tears that had tumbled out of her eyes. “ _ For the second time in your life, you will be frozen. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has been a while in the process but I finally figured that the plot matters more than my choppy writing style so here it is anyways! We're finally getting some answers and they'll all be explained in the up and coming x  
> as always, thanks for sticking around and reading my angst trash.  
> you can find some art for this chapter on my tumblr! https://ronnieiswriting.tumblr.com/post/614069216011862016/queen-anna-learns-what-happened-after-the-second


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ok, I hope the formatting in this chapter isn't too confusing but basically the italic text to the right is the immediate follow on after the last chapter, the bold text is the text from the book that Anna is reading to herself.

Anna wasted no time in rushing to the castle’s library as soon as the three got back to Arendelle. She had ignored the questioning, concerned looks on their faces but she hoped that her own expression said more than words.

The words of Ahtohallen replayed in her mind, she wouldn’t let herself forget them, as Anna ran a hand along the spines of the books. 

_ “The force of flowing water runs through you, Anna. Your body had spent so much time underwater that it is now completely saturated…” _

Anna crossed the room with a flutter to her skirt, she paid no attention to the figures at the doorway.

_ “When your sister used her magic to awaken you, she ignited the magic in it’s force… I’m sure you are aware of how water can act as a medium…” _

She finally found the shelf she was looking for. It was lined with old books that had belonged to her father, many of which she remembers the stories as they were told to her.

_ “That is why you can hear your sister’s voice. Her magic has connected you… but water connects all of us.” _

By the time Anna had found what she was searching for, the figures had moved to standing behind her. 

“Anna?” Elsa spoke first as she watched her younger sister flip hurriedly through a book. When she gave no response she pressed further “Anna, what did you see? What does-” she tried to peek at the cover of the book as if it’s subject would explain something Anna couldn’t, “what does a book have to do with what you saw at Ahtohallen?”

_ “Water passes through us all at some point, and soon enough there will be nothing but your sister’s magic left in you.” _

_ “So I’ll be-” _

_ “Frozen. Yes.”  _

Anna ignored her sister as she trailed her fingers across the pages as she read:

**“...The first morning after he marries another your heart will break, and you will become foam on the crest of the waves.”**

Elsa cast a worried expression to Kristoff who stood beside her in similar concern. He spoke then, “Anna, please tell us what you saw.”

Anna’s thoughts broke for a moment away from the book as she remembered how Kristoff had been wiping tears away from his eyes with his sleeve as he exited Ahtohallen. She was struck with that guilty feeling again.   
**“what will be left of me?”**

**“Your beautiful form, your graceful walk, and your expressive eyes…”**

_ “What would happen to your world if it were without you for good?” _

Anna had already seen the effect of her death on the world, the lives around her. She saw the pain in every vision that Ahtohallen showed her, every detail of grief on the faces of those she loved the most.

She knew that if she died again Elsa would return to a life of unfulfillment, Kristoff would retreat into himself and most likely into the mountains. Anna knew her sister would never marry, never bear her own children as Anna realised that stepping aside had perhaps always been her sister’s plan. But where did that leave Arendelle? Without heirs to their throne, with no monarchical future.

_ “So what are you going to do about it?” _

Anna finally stood up, snapping the book shut and crossing it across her chest. She faced Elsa and Kristoff.    
They were almost thrown back by the ferocity in her eyes alone.

Elsa finally squinted at the book’s title. “The Little Mermaid?” 

  
  
  


**The sharp knives cut her feet, but she did not feel it, for the pain in her heart was far greater…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Little Mermaid was actually written before the Snow Queen so it is accurate that Agnarr would have this book.  
> we've finally got to some answers! please tell me what you guys think :)  
> thanks as always for reading xx


	21. Chapter 21

Dreamful nights for Anna were now few and far between. She spent them planning; the dreams she had seen enough times to commit them to waking memory. Anna didn’t know how much time she had left, but she knew it was limited. Cold crept into her bones deeper everyday, no amount of hugs or kisses kept it away. Anna didn’t have the heart to tell them. She had seen how hard they had fought to get her back- Ahtohallen showed her and she would never forget their faces. 

Anna looked beside her, as she had done for countless nights, at the sleeping figure beside her. He had let her cry into his shoulder for what must’ve been hours. It would’ve been Elsa too had she not returned to the forest for the day. Even in sleep Kristoff looked exhausted. 

There was only one thing she could think of doing as a solution. Well- not a solution per se, but a way to ensure the future of Arendelle, of the monarchy. 

_ Heirs… _

_ Heirs… _

_ Heirs… _

It was out of the question. It was out of the question to think that Elsa would take it upon herself to leave her own future and go back to a life that simply wasn’t her’s. 

Anna ripped her eyes from her husband at the thought. It would be a horrible thing to try. 

But she planned nonetheless. 

Anna mapped out in her head how long it would take to convince him and Elsa that she was fine- that all that mess with  _ The Little Mermaid _ was nothing, that her mind was free from whispers and intrusive thoughts. 

She thought about how long it would take to  _ conceive _ and  _ birth _ a child. 

  
  


Anna shook her head, trying to envision the whole concept being shaken out of her skull.

It was out of the question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that chapters for this fic have been inconsistent but being totally honest, I've lost a lot of drive for this story especially with how I'm now working on something more personally fulfilling.  
> I do still want to finish this story of course because I know people are still invested in this story and I don't wanna just leave you all out in the cold.
> 
> I'm definitely going to have to do some more thinking about this fic and how I'm going to end it- I do have a few endings in mind but I want it to feel complete and fulfilling, ya know.
> 
> anyways, drop your thoughts in the comments, I'd love to hear from readers of this story and what your thoughts are for this fic
> 
> thanks for reading xx


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